Elevators

I don’t understand the mechanical workings of most objects.  My friend Kyle explained to me how an internal combustion engine works (the old kind with a carburetor) and then my friend Wes tried to show me.  I took away from those lessons that gas goes in, catches on fire, explodes, and that’s what pushes the pistons.   I could probably draw a picture like a 4 year old if you want to see it.  As far as elevators go, they are complex computer controlled priority driven people movers.  I’m going to go out on a limb and say that when buildings are built, they are created with enough elevators to move people in an efficient manner quickly.  I’m sure there’s a mathematical equation that includes number of floors, people in the building, speed, etc.   With the answer being how many of those suckers you need, right?   Well I’ve got a tip for my building.  YOU NEED ONE MORE.  We’ve had an elevator on the fritz for 2 weeks.  That’s now the most stressful part of my life.  Ten minutes.   Oh, I could walk?   Eighteenth floor sounds great.  The kicker?  The Otis assholes are standing there watching us while playing angry birds.